On Broken Hearts...

How can a love that lasted for 6 years end just like that? How can the person you love the most just cheat on you just like that? If I knew the answers, I’d definitely tell you.

I know you’ve been asking yourself the same questions for the past few days.

All I know is that it sucks big time. Time becomes irrelevant. Whether you’ve been together for 6 years or 6 months, it’s the same $hit.

I hope God guides you well. This won’t be easy, that’s for sure. You’ve been through a lot and I know you’ll weather this out.

It’s highly unlikely that you read this. But just the same, here’s what I have for you.

Heal. Gaya nga ng sinabi ko sayo, the wound may be too painful for now. Just deal with the pain and allow yourself to heal. It’ easier said than done. It’s a process. You are not pressured to come up with a decision now. Otherwise, the decision will most likely be solely based on your emotions. Hayaan mong matuyo yung sugat. After that, that’s when you decide if you’d undergo the surgery, have a tattoo or just let it be.

Love is good. And it should make you feel good. If you are in pain, then maybe it’s not love at all.

He may have loved you. Maybe he still loves you. But I assure you, it’s not the good-kind-of-love which he may have had 6 or 5 years ago. If it were the same love, do you think he’ll have an affair in the first place?

Help yourself. If you think forgetting him would help you move on, then help yourself. Checking his Friendster account every minute won’t help you at all. Listening to your theme song would just most likely remind you of him. I thought you’re trying to forget him?

Your family will always love and accept you no matter what. You may have taken them for granted when you were so in-love. I’m sure it wasn’t intentional. You were just too in-love. And now’s the time to thank them for always being there for you.

Last, but not the least… your friends will always be here for you. Contrary to what he was telling you all this time, your friends will never leave you. Enough said.

Plans, plans...

John and I are planning to go back to the beach house with mama and perhaps, some members of the clan. Makapagbakasyon naman siya.

We can stay at the beach house siguro for two days. Before going back to Manila, we can visit Zoobic.

It has been a while since I went out of town with my family.

When I was growing up, I always spend my summer vacation in the province. Yup, probinsyana ako and I’m proud of it.

Naka-miss nga e. Those were the days.

*****

Civil Wedding? The suggestion has merits. I am googling the requirements as I am writing this. Okay naman. While waiting for the church wedding, pwede naman na magpa-civil wedding muna kami.

*****

I'm at a point where I am seriously considering things that I wouldn’t have thought of doing a month or week ago.

I am starting to explore what’s outside of my comfort zone.

I wouldn't want to go through life with a lot of what-ifs.

E baka naman kasi may magandang naghihintay na kinabukasan sa iba diba?

Vacation Mode

Finally! Nakapag-out of town trip na kami ni John.

We went to Monetemar over the weekend. Super saya. We were with my HS besties. Super bitin pero just the same, I had so much fun.

Next plan namin is makabalik sana sa Bora. Sana... I am keeping my fingers crossed.

*****

Super bitin ang bakasyon namin. I'm still in vacation mode. Parang ayoko na ngang bumalik sa office e. Heheh.

The team can manage on their own naman yata kaya carry lang.

*****

As I'm writing thism pinapanood ko si Piolo and Juday.

Mukhang maganda sa Sagada. Kung mabubuhay lang sana ko sa ganung environment.

Hanggang pictures at TV na lang siguro ako.

Not this December...

It’s not gonna happen in December.

I've been repeating this phrase to myself for the past few weeks thinking that by doing so, I would have better chances of accepting it.

No matter how valid the reason may be, I am still having a hard time grasping the realization that I won’t be walking down the aisle in December.

I've been putting this off since I found out about it.

The moment John told me that we may have to push our wedding date, I just had to see my best friends. I had hard time breathing and I know, seeing them and talking to them would somehow alleviate the pain I am feeling.

I am still reeling from the shock.

I am still trying to get over the gut-wrenching pain.

I am still trying to validate the reason.

I am still trying to deal with it.

I am trying.

And God knows I am failing.

*****

This doesn't make me love John any less. I love him. What gets me going is the fact that regardless, whether it's not going to be this December, it's bound to happen.

I will walk down the aisle towards the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

It may not be in December.

But it's going to be soon.