It's hard to fall for someone who is not even remotely in the same page with you. For all we know, you are reading a romantic novel, while he's into demons and stuff.
But then again, it's not as if you can choose who to like or love. It's one of the wonders of love. It's not dictated, not scripted and definitely not coerced. Though it would make more sense to fall for someone who also loves you, it just doesn't happen that way. Love is complicated and it ain't easy as that. It involves a lot of risks and fate.
Risks.
The worst part of crushing on someone is that when that someone is with someone else. Or if that someone is not even remotely aware that you exist. Or if that someone can only offer you friendship. The possibilities are endless but it all boils down to unrequited love.
Unrequited love by far, is the worst. If you can stay steer away from it, then do so.
Fate.
What I love about love is that it can never be imposed. Sometimes, you just know. You crush on someone, go out on a few dates, get to know each other well, fall in love together with each other... the works.
And that's why even if Love has pained me too much, I'd still say
it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all
and it is better to have loved and let go than to have loved and held on to the wrong one all this time.
An entry I found in Jovee's site. Tapos kay Burn pala nanggaling.
Your view on yourself: You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love: You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education: Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you: You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.
How do you view success: You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of: You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self: You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
A good friend asked me how she’d know if she’s finally over someone.
I’m no expert in this subject but I did my best in explaining to her how it was when I was in that situation.
The signs are not accurate. Sometimes, you wake up not thinking about the person but that doesn’t guarantee na you are finally over the person. After all, 1 day is irrelevant to the next days, weeks, months and years to come. So lesson number one is to NOT ask for a sign.
It’s hard. It’s hard trying to recall how I came to this point from where I was when my heart was broken. It took me a while, that I remember. I was always walking in a daze and I was in my own world. I was trying to accept the fact that my one true love broke my heart.
Things change. Before I met him, I was my own person. I did things on my own and I didn’t have to ask someone (or anyone for that matter) if they like what I’m doing or wearing. I wore my hair short even if it made me look like siopao. I drink and smoke with friends without having to get someone’s permission. I own my decisions.
When I met him, things started to change. I was more conscious and cautious with what I was doing. Hindi naman dumating sa point na he has the final say. It’s just that it’s hard to be the drinker and smoker that I was considering na wala syang bisyo. Though I’m not a heels person, mas lagi akong nagsusuot ng flats to compliment his height (kasi he’s a bit short, hehe). You know, certain things like that. Until it reached the point na I was checking with him every now and then kung ano magiging decisions ko. I do not blame him. Kasi it was my decision to check with him. Hindi nya ako pinilit. I just felt that during that time, I was supposed to do that dahil “kami”.
Allow yourself time to figure out what you really want to be. Do you want to be the same person before you met him? Or do you want to stay the way you are (after being with him)? Regardless of your decision, you have to realize that it’s just you now. You do not answer to anyone (most of all, him) but yourself.
Time is all you need. It can and may not happen overnight. It might take a while. Just be patient. There are no due dates. Take all the time that you need. Let the scars heal. They may not be visible physically but you have to make sure that the ones that we do not actually see have already healed.
Lastly, it doesn’t matter if he is or he is not over you. He doesn’t dictate when you should start trying to get over him. He has his own life to live and hindi ka na kasama dun. So start living your own life too.
Getting over someone you used to love is no easy feat. You loved the person at his best and worst. You accepted the person as he is. The mark he left in your life will always be indelible. It may not be as noticeable as it was the first time, but it’s permanent. Though they may have hurt us and broken our hearts, that doesn’t change the fact that they loved us too. They may not love us the same way when the relationship was just starting out. Things change. It’s not our fault that they no longer love us the way we love them. And if this happens, it happens for a reason. It may not make sense now but in time, you will realize that it’s better that things ended that way.
floating - \[floh-ting] –adjective
1. being buoyed up on water or other liquid.
2. having little or no attachment to a particular place; moving from one place to another: a floating work force.
3. Pathology. away from its proper position, esp. in a downward direction: a floating kidney.
4. not fixed or settled in a definite place or state: a floating population.
5. Finance.
a. in circulation or use, or not permanently invested, as capital.
b. composed of sums due within a short time: a floating debt.
6. Machinery.
a. having a soft suspension greatly reducing vibrations between the suspended part and its support.
b. working smoothly.
***
It's been a while since I last posted something here. And yes, tama ka. Floating.
Dahil summer na, masaya na magtampisaw sa dagat (o sa pool, o sa malaking-malaking timba) at mag-floating. Nakakaaliw ang mag-float lalo na kung marunong ka ring lumangoy. Kasi dumadating yung point na habang naka-float ka, parang nakakasawa rin na nakatengga ka ng matagal. At kung nasa dagat ka, e baka sa kung saang lugar ka makarating. Enjoy, nakakaaliw, masaya... kung hindi forever na lulutang lutang ka.
E pano kung sa work ka mag-floating? Yung tipong walang kasiguruhan, yung di mo alam kung ano mangyayari sa pagpasok mo sa opisina? Yung tipong wala ka pang isang oras sa opisina e pinapauwi ka na dahil floating ka daw muna. Basta mag-float-float ka na lang daw muna.
Naku... e di pa naman ako marunong lumangoy. Hanggang bubbles lang kaya ko e.
Badtrip.
***
Just like what I've been telling my friends, ngayon pa lang nag-sink in sa akin na Francis Magalona is gone. It's sad. I've always thought na he's good. He has sense when he raps. Hindi yung tipong clap your hands everybody lang ang alam sabihin. Bilib nga ko sa kanya e. Sayang.
***
There is hope. I refuse to believe na wala. Kasi mahirap mabuhay na wala kang pinaniniwalaan. Things would be better. It may not happen over night pero in God's time, things will get better.
Ang buhay parang gulong. Minsan nasusunog. Hehe. Kidding aside, wala sigurong bright side for now pero magkakaron din yan, promise.
Sa buhay, madalas, may gusto tayong gawin na for some reason, di naman natin magawa.
Sometimes the reasons are practical in nature, minsan naman just pure emotional.
Gaya ko, gusto kong magpagupit ng hair. Para sana maiba naman. For the longest time, nagpapa-rebond ako at straight lang gupit ko. Gusto ko naman sana maka-experience ng iba. Pero dahil sa umaasa ako na ako'y lalakad down the aisle this year, inisip ko, huwag muna.
Minsan, lalo na 'pag bagsak ang CSAT ko, gusto kong mag-resign. Kapag napakaraming pinapagawa sa opisina, lalong lumalakas yung kagustuhan kong umalis. Pero kapag ok naman, cool lang, steady lang.
Before I wrote this post, alam ko may punto ako. As I move towards the end, ayun... nakalimutan ko na yung punto ko.
Maganda talaga na pag-isipan muna lahat ng bagay. Kasi minsan, our emotions cloud our judgement. At kadalasan, lalo na kung emotion ang pinaiiral natin, we decide badly.
Deal with the hurt, cry it out, let the tears run dry. Di mawawala yung sama ng loob.
It doesn't heal overnight. Kapag medyo ok ka na, think of what you will do. At the end of it all, it's solely your call.
A conversation with John long before the Twilight mania…
Ma-an: You’re impossible fast. You’re strong. You’re skin is pale white and ice cold. You don’t go out in the sunlight.
John: Say it, say it out loud!
Ma-an: VamPIG! You are a VamPIG!
One of the hardest things for me to deal with, by far, is death. I’d like to believe that I am not afraid to die. I’d like to believe that death is really inevitable. I’d like to believe that, death, like change is life’s constant.
But no matter how hard I think about it, death scares me. The fact not knowing just scares me even more.
Death in the family, no matter how tragic and sad it is, cohesively binds us all the more.
Lola Paring, we will miss you.
*****
If I had my way, I’d start 2009 better than this. The passing away of my lola is not a good way to start the year no matter how hard we try to deal with it logically. Losing someone is plain and simple sad.
We’re just consoled with the fact that she didn’t have to suffer long and that she’s now with Papa J and Lolo S.
*****
If there’s one thing I learned out of this, is that it solidified the fact that nothing in this world is permanent. We all have to live life to the fullest and avoid regrets. Deal with might-have-beens and do everything that we can while we still can.
Live, laugh and love freely!
Live without regrets.
Seize the day and make the most out of it.
Since it's 2009, I've come up with my resolutions. I hope to keep them, so help me God.
This is all I can think of for now...
MY FAITH
My faith will always get me going. No matter how tough it gets, I know I can do it because no matter how big the problem is, I have a bigger faith and bigger God.
MY FAMILY
Your family will always be your family. They will stick by you through thick and thin. They will always take you as you are with and without the imperfections.
I’m just so lucky because I have an understanding and loving family. I love them and they love me – enough said.
MY CHI
I will always be thankful that I have John in my life. Life can’t get any better than this. With life’s ups and downs, everything’s alright with him by my side. To borrow Edward’s words for Bella -- John is my life now.
I am hoping that this year would finally be the year. I am keeping my fingers crossed. Let this be the year.
MY FRIENDS
I love my friends with all my heart and with all that I am. I know that I can and will do anything within my powers for them. I’m just so lucky knowing that they feel the same way towards me. They will always be my persons no matter what. I may stumble upon challenges and road blocks once in while but it’s okay because I have my friends to cheer me up and support me all the way.
As I grow older, I realize that my priorities changes. These are my priorities for now.
2008 has been a good year to me. I’ve nothing to complain about as I was able to breeze through it unscathed.
I’m very thankful for all the things that transpired, no matter how great or small, important or insignificant, happy or sad – for these all helped me become who I am right now.
As for 2009… bring it on!
After the unfateful Baclaran incident, I just seem to have lost the appetite to write (buti na lang hindi to eat-- haha!).
To those who haven’t heard about it yet, here’s the gist. We went to Baclaran last November 30th para
I have no other intention but to rant about what we lost that day.
Pero sabi nga ng karamihan, pwede pa naman namin ulit kitain yung perang nawala at pwede pa ulit kaming bumili nung mga bagay na nawala. But still, it can’t be helped na we feel sad when we remember what happened.
If I can turn back time, okay na mawala lahat huwag lang
But I can’t turn back time. So I’ll just be thankful na we weren’t hurt and that this incident proved na we are truly loved by our friends.
Merry Christmas everyone!
We went to Greenhills yesterday. We checked out the pricelist of iPhone and Samsung Omnia kasi. I've been telling John kasi na I want an iPhone since it was released last year. Since usapang Christmas gifts na, habang naghihintay kami na makalabas sa parking lot...
Me: Chi, ano'ng gusto mo na Christmas gift?
John: Nothing. I just want to see you happy and I'm happy na.
Me: (Speechless)
John: Hindi nga po. I am serious. I am a simple person with simple aspirations and dreams. If I just see you happy, I'm also happy.
Aaww... ang sweet naman.
Life can't get any better than this.
I'd appreciate feedback on both phones.
I've been really thinking of getting an iPhone for myself.
Why? It's stylish and it looks nice. I know, ang babaw. I guess I'd have to review the specs more. If we'll be spending around 30K for a phone, might as well know what I'm getting myself into.
Will iPhone be worth it? I really need feedback especially from those who has one (of course, hehe) or those who are just simply in the know.
Another phone that I'm looking at is Samsung Omnia.
Just like iPhone, it also looks stylish. Touchscreen din sya and I guess, has some features the same as that of iPhone.
Just like with iPhone, I'd have to seriously study the specs and reviews for this phone. No idea how much it costs though.
Feedback would be highly appreciated. I currently have W900. It's a walkman phone and it takes decent pictures naman. It's also touchscreen but the screen isn't as big as that of iPhone or Omnia (I think).
Anyways, feedback anyone?
Daig ng maagap ang masipag. Kaya naman ngayon pa lang, I am starting my Christmas Wishlist na, hehe.
Twilight: The Complete Illustrated Movie Companion
by: Stephenie Meyer
Shadow Music
by: Julie Garwood
I don't care if it's 3G or not. Or kung ano pa man. Basta iPhone. Hehe. Hindi naman ako choosy.
This is it for now. Will just update this from time to time.
I’ve always been a Christmas person. I just love everything about Christmas.
Syempre, una na sa list is yung 13th month pay. Everyone deserves it. After working hard for the last 12 months, aba dapat naman talaga, may reward.
For some reason, talagang I love Christmas. Siguro because I have the fondest memories of celebrating it with my family. When I was growing up, we always go to the province and spend the holidays with our relatives. At dahil malaki ang pamilya ko, super saya palagi and of course, exciting ang gift giving rituals. Through the years, even after I started working, I make sure na even if I can’t be with them, I have a “little something” for my family and relatives. Lalo na sa mga lolo, lola, tito and titas ko. Kasi when I was growing up, they also made sure na may “little something” akong matatanggap once the clock strikes 12 and we start with the gift giving.
It’s just ironic though, I am a Christmas person and John is simply not. He’s not the Grinch naman or anything. In fact, he’s very supportive lalo na when I do my Christmas shopping. Though I hear complaints every now and then, it’s somehow a bonding time for us and he really makes sure that he shops or rather, tags along with me. I guess he’s not a fan of Christmas because he didn’t have a lot of good memories. For him, Christmas season means that it’s December. When it’s December, it’s cold. And when it’s cold, not everyone is well. Close friends would surely know what I mean by this.
Anyway, we once had a plan of tying the knot in December. In fact, we wanted it this December. But due to several reasons, the plan just can’t be accommodated as much as we wanted to.
Yes, I want to get married in December. Why? Simple. I want John to start looking at December differently. Gusto ko maisip nya na December isn’t so bad at all dahil we got married in December, dahil pwedeng maging masaya ang Disyembre, dahil it’s not too late for us to start making memories of our own. Na kahit he didn’t have great Christmas celebrations in the past, we can start making ours together. Na I am here to celebrate all Christmases with him for always. Na I will do everything within my power to make sure na masaya sya at though I can’t erase the past, I am here to make things better for the long haul.
At this point, I’d like to borrow my mentor’s reason why they sang a Christmas song on my birthday last June!
Chi, Disyembre man o hindi, it’s always Christmas when I’m with you.
Bakit ganun, minsan, kung sino pa ang pangit, sila pa ang may pangit na pag-uugali?
Dahil ba sa tingin nila e they have nothing to lose dahil pangit na sila?
O defense mechanism nila yun?
Hmmm... hindi po ako nagmamaganda, I'm just thinking out loud.
Ang daming instances na kasi na may mga pangit na "nagmamaganda".
Gamitin ko lang yung linya ni Alfie nung minsang may inaway sya na manager sa McDo dahil sa attitude problem...
"Ang panget-panget mo na nga, ang panget-panget pa ng ugali mo!"
Hay. Ampanget!
PS. Bato bato sa langit, ang tamaan wag magagalit. Hindi po ako super ganda, hindi rin naman po ako pangit. May times na nagmamaldita ako, pero I make sure na nasa lugar ako.
This post is long overdue.
When John and I ate at Amici last month, we noticed na the crew takes the "self-service" policy quite seriously.
At napansin din naman na the servers didn't have trouble asking us to "go there, go back there and go back here" for our orders and special requests.
Anyway, since we didn't finish our pizza, John decided to call one of the waiters to have the rest of the pizza "to go".
John (to waitress): For take-out na yung pizza.
Waitress: Okay po, punta kayo dun (sabay turo sa cashier). Sabay alis...
John (to Me): Grabeng tamad naman ng mga tao dito.
Me: E self-service daw po e.
John: Baka mamaya, tayo pa paghugasin ng pinggan at baso natin.
Hahaha.
Floor file na kumapal in time dahil sa mga coaching logs para sa iba't-ibang bagay na ikaw lang ata ang may kayang gumawa.
"I don't believe that OI."
"It works for me..."
Bukas, mag-iiba na ang routine ko.
Ang lunch time ko na usually 8:30AM, definitely, mababago.
Ang schedule ng mga lunch buddy ko, bukas, mababago.
Kung dati, umiikot kay Aya at sayo kasama si Luv at Jai, bukas, baka iba na.
Bukas, mababawasan ang isa sa mga matinding rason kung bakit in spite of everything that's been happening to me at work, okay pa rin ako kahit papaano.
Bukas, masayang masaya ako.
Dahil sabi nga nila, dapat masaya ka para sa mga kaibigan mo.
Masaya ako dahil finally, you are getting what you deserve.
Finally, masasabi natin na may pag-asa pa pala.
Bukas, ang napakakapal na floor file mo, ibibigay ko na kay Mira.
Dahil bukas, magiging QA analyst ka na at mawawala ka na sa team ko.
Bukas, mawawalan ako ng isang floor file.
Bukas, sana floor file lang ang mawala.
Huwag pati makukulay na bagay na pwede mong i-share sa akin.
Bukas, gaya ng lagi kong sinasabi at sinusulat sayo... You will make me proud!
...I found out that a very dear friend resigned effective immediately.
This may be for the best. I hope that you finally find what you're looking for.
I will surely miss...
...confiscating your clip/ rubber band everytime tinatali mo yung buhok mo after it was just rebonded.
...your tomboyish ways.
...the possiblity na iisa lang ang medyas na suot mo sa pagpasok mo sa office.
...your topak.
...excuse (reason) na masakit tyan mo everytime yayayain kita na umalis.
...your creativity (lalo na sa pag-decorate ng boards sa office).
...oreos (ar any food) straight from your pocket.
...pagiging makulit and pasaway.
Most of all, I will surely miss you.
